How I Lost My Ability to Have Fun Over Time
There are days when I feel like I’m a fun sponge in the negative sense. If the kids are having too much fun and getting too rowdy, then it is up to me to tell them to calm down and soak the fun out of the room. Ditto for when my husband wants to buy something not in our budget.
I wasn’t always the “fun police”. Just the opposite, in fact.
Among my friends, I used to be the carefree one for many years until I got married, settled down and had kids. I was adventurous. I went to Europe two times by myself to travel for many weeks (I met up with a group when I got there). And I even went to a Writer’s Retreat where I knew no one.
I’ve had many travels and adventures with my best friends. In other words, I was FUN.
I had dreams that having a family of my own would be one long day of doing crafts (with no clean up) and making elaborate Martha Stewart worthy dinners (with no dishes!) in my picture-perfect clean home. Rarely does that come to pass, instead it is usually a lot of scolding to pick up the place, put away your stuff, bring over your dishes, etc.
However, I’ve realized this is just life. And, a blessed life at that to have a family to take care of day in and day out. I’m the one who needs to change the way I look at things.
So, I’m giving myself permission to have fun again! I figure it is like a muscle and I just need to work it out a little bit more.
The real problem is I am afraid in all the living above, I may have forgotten how to have fun. I’ve researched some ideas to give me (and maybe you?) some ideas for having fun again.
Ideas for How to Have Fun Again as an Adult
Go to a movie you want to see – not a kid or action flick unless you really like them! Try this one for some Women Power!
Take yourself shopping (groceries don’t count) and just look for things for you.
Go to the library and read all the magazines for free and with no guilt.
Take a walk and just commune with nature and enjoy the peace and quiet.
Find an old CD of your favorite songs you love to sing to and blast that baby!
Before the kids are out of school, take a day off and just stay at home, relax in your PJ’s and binge watch your favorite shows.
Pick up a hobby you haven’t touched in years – sewing, cooking for fun (not product), writing, reading, scrapbooking, etc. Anything that allows you to explore the creative side of yourself is a good place to start
Go on a field trip close to home to a place you are interested to learn more about.
Take a virtual tour of someplace far away you’ve always wanted to travel to or a museum you’d like to visit. Google Arts and Culture is a good place to start. You can even make art on the site with a poem postcard combining art and an AI generated poem.
Switch up your daily routine and lose the to-do list for a while
Create a vision board of things that sound fun to you (or a bucket list if a board sounds like too much work)
Find ways to play as an adult with your kids – just make sure it is something you can all enjoy. Maybe it is doing a puzzle or playing a board game with them. For others, it might be baking a new dessert or binge watching a favorite TV series.
A Plan to Have Fun Again
First, you need to introduce some novelty into your life by trying new things. (The definition of novelty is the quality of being new, original, or unusual.) Sometimes what you need is to just shake up your routine, because maybe you are just tired of doing the same things over and over again.
How to Add New Experiences into Your Life to have more Fun
- Try new things – we all like to be in our comfort zone because we feel masterful when we know how to do things. But, sometimes you just need to push past the limits you have set for yourself and get out of your comfort zone by being willing to be a beginner again.
- Learn a new skill – there are so many opportunities to do this whether it be online or through a local source like your local library
- See if you can make some new friends – join a club or group to meet some new people you might enjoy spending time with
- Spend time with a close friend – but do something that is new for both of you. Maybe take a class together or explore a new place. These new connections are a good way to enhance your relationship and a perfect time for you to reconnect in new ways.
Find Fun Activities (and People)
Actively search for things that sound like they would be fun to you. Whether that is spending quality time with people you consider to be fun people or just focusing on having a good time and letting go of your worries for a little bit.
- Make a list of fun activities – What do you like to do? What did you used to like to do? (see above with the hobby you haven’t touched in years as a great way to discover what you think is fun)
- Think about people you almost always have fun with – Who are the ones in your life who bring the fun? Would you put yourself on that list? Why or why not?
- What activities help you lose track of time? – Finding things to do that help you achieve flow in psychology terms (which is where you lose all track of time when engaging in an activity)
How Can You Be a Fun Person?
This is a big one. Being an adult can make the most light-hearted person a drag to be around some days. And that’s okay, some days are just like that. However, if you find you are always feeling blah, maybe you just need to back up for a bit.
Some days you just have to lighten up. I know, I struggle with this myself. There are so many things I need to do or worry about (as a person with anxiety), I tell myself.
But, sometimes I just need to get out of my own way. I need to be conscious of what thoughts I’m having and really try to find the light in most things.
This can mean focusing on things that cause me to lose my “fun” way.
What Can Cause You to Lose Sight of the Fun in Your Life
If you find yourself in any of these situations be aware they can cause you to feel like life is “all work and no play” for a while:
- Getting out of what is a good work-life balance for you
- Feeling burned out (putting in too many hours over too long a time)
- Too many heavy or serious things happening at once
- Physical health stressors
- Forgetting to take time off
- Not getting outside enough
- Neglecting exercise
Are there areas of your life where you can turn things around and change your focus? Lighten up and be lighthearted about things – or just not take everything so seriously?
Maybe it isn’t possible to do that right now in your life. Or maybe you can just pay attention to see if there are areas where you can have more fun moments just by paying attention to what is going on in your head.
Now it is your turn. How will you add more fun to your life?
If you find you have been put in the role of “fun police”, then go and prove to yourself that you are still fun – I promise you are. You just need to work out your fun muscle every now and then so you don’t lose that part of yourself forever!
You get bonus points if after doing something fun for yourself and you share doing something fun with your husband and/or kids. I hope you have a fabulous time!
Want more ideas of things you can do? Check these out:
The Art of Play – When was the last time you let yourself play?
Being in Nature – Find relief by getting outside and away from the things of man
100 Self-Care Ideas – Find lots of ways to take better care of yourself here
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